Hips, Butt and Thighs...I've got them

I've been thinking about how to approach this post for quite some time; it can be a sensitive topic for myself and for others who experience any kind of body shape anxiety.

Before you read any further, I want to preface this post by saying that I have quoted some comments made to me by others that could be offensive to some readers.  Please know that I post these remarks because I am being true to my experiences and want to share them with you.  I want to share something that is authentic and real.  

  One theme of my blog is dressing a curvy figure, hence the title, Dangerous Curves.

There are other themes that I explore; such as looking good in your 40's and 50's and of course ballroom dance.

This topic, though, preoccupies much of my thought when I'm dressing for the day, trying on and purchasing clothing as well as throughout my day in social situations.  I believe many of you can relate, no matter what your size, shape, age or ethnic heritage.  

I am extra sensitive to this topic; how it relates to me, how it relates to you.

I am interested inYOUR experiences and how they have shaped your body image.  If my post or experiences have resonated with you, please share with other bloggers.  

I have an abundance of hips, butt and thighs; and especially an abundance of butt.  For the most part, I've learned how to dress to minimize this, and creative posing and camera angles can do a lot to camouflage this too.  I want to look my best.  I want my proportions to appear to be as balanced as possible, while still allowing me to be as God made me and embrace the curves I have.

In addition to being extremely pear shaped, I am short and petite.  I have a very small frame; tiny wrists, ankles, small hands and a small face.  

It's not easy to balance this combination of features.

Yes, I still posted an outfit photo.  I feel kind of modern retro in this dress.  I could probably improve it by hemming it about two inches.

Right now, I am 10 pounds above the maximum healthy weight for my small frame.  Two years ago, before I returned to school to work on a Master's degree; I was at a good weight and more fit.  Oh, and ummmm...I still had an abundance of hips, butt and thighs.

I wasn't sitting so much while writing papers and I spent more time in the gym.  In addition to dance, I also had a membership at a boxing club and worked out 3-4 times a week there.  

The demands of school and the budget required me to forgo the boxing club membership.  I was dancing too; and in terms of time and money; I had to choose one hobby or another.  Dance won. Although I am trying to get back to regular workouts and eat healthier; I must accept the fact that no matter how much time I spend on a treadmill, hitting the heavy bag or dancing, I am still going to have this round, basketball of a disproportionate butt.

It is a part of me.  It's not going anywhere.

Until I was 30; I weight under 100 lbs...even after two children.  And...oh; I still had the hips, butt and thighs.  Even in high school, where I was grossly underweight...the booty was there.  It WAS smaller than it is now, in proportion to my weight at the time, but it was there.  I should be appreciative of my curves, my unique shape...and I am.  But in reality...my shape has been a catalyst of many uncomfortable and downright rude treatment throughout my life.

This is the necklace I won...the green stones coordinate with my green shoes.

Of course the typical issues exist; finding pants that fit, that don't gape in the back or pull across the butt and thighs, and of finding a suitable bathing suit that doesn't make me feel like a freak are regular challenges.  My major issues though with my butt in particular stem from the way my rear end has been perceived as others...it is so prominent that people often stare, whisper behind my back or even comment aloud.  My butt has caused me embarrassment; it has even caused embarrassment to my two older sons.  I sometimes feel like my ass is public property; a monument that people stare at in wonder.  No, not like staring at the Washington monument in wonder.  More like staring a grape on a toothpick in wonder.  (That's a wee bit of dark humor in an otherwise serious post).

How I love love love this unexpected prize!

People seem to think it's OK to talk about my butt in a very public manner.  I've heard everything; I've been asked everything.  "Is that real or did you have implants?"  My response is "Do you think I would choose to do this to myself?"  

I've been asked about my ethnic heritage; everyone seems to need an explanation for this "phenomenon".  

I've been told I have a JLo butt, a Kim Kardashian butt, a Nikki Minaj butt.  I've been told I have a JLo/Kim Kardashian butt combined on one little body.

I've been told I have a "sister booty".  That my butt belongs on a black woman, not on me.  I believe the implication is that pale white girls don't have big butts.  I'm living proof that they do.  This comparison is not what is upsetting to me; what is upsetting is that ANYONE would dare to be so rude to speculate about any body part on any woman.

Its beyond rude.  Its an insult to all women of all sizes, shapes and ethnicities.  Why is it that a particular prominent feature has to belong to one ethnic group or another?  Why is it okay to say this OUT LOUD?  Ok..think what you will; but why talk about my butt or any woman's butt, breasts or other features in public, in front of children, friends or strangers?

I can related to women who with very large breasts and their experiences with this same type of treatment.  The only difference for me, is that the big booty is not as common, particularly on a small woman.  Its an anomaly.

Also hurtful is the over sexualization of this feature.  I won't repeat the comments that have been directed to me; suffice to say they are grossly inappropriate.

I have had men express interest in me based on that feature alone.  I am not a woman or a mom or a person in those moments...I am an object; a receptacle.

There is a song I've heard by the singer Nelly called "tip drill".  One line says "It must be the ass cause it ain't the face; I need a tip drill".

My interpretation is that the female subject of the song is not considered attractive but she is good enough to turn around and "tip drill".

I sometime wonder, when I hear the comments, if this is how the person thinks of me.

The funniest thing is when people gingerly approach me on the topic of my butt as if they think I might not be aware of it.  Hey, thanks for letting me know.  Wow. I wasn't aware.  I'll have to do something about it. 

Yes, I am aware.  I do know that my booty arrives to the party about five minutes after the rest of me.  If it wasn't so insulting it would be kind of funny to think that people imagine that I'm not hyper-aware of it.

If this was an occasional occurrence, I might blow it off without a thought. People are people and can be insensitive and rude and sometimes just ignorant. I get that. But...it happens nearly every day.  All of my jobs have place me in the general public on a daily basis.  I'm not sitting behind a desk, I'm out meeting and greeting many people therefore my booty is on display in a manner.   I get weary of the looks, the comments, the innuendos.

That being said; I do joke with those people in my social circle about my butt.  Sometimes its just to be funny; sometimes its a preemptive strike; a defensive move to reach the punchline before they do.

I'm thankful that my husband has NEVER, EVER treated my butt like an object.  He has never made a rude comment about it.  He appreciates it....but doesn't ever over-emphasize it, even during intimate moments.

Someday, I will get brave and post a picture of myself walking away from the camera.  Just so you know I'm not exaggerating.  Someday, I will be brave and embrace this without shame so that you too can embrace whatever it is you may not love about yourself.

I love my body.  I don't love all of my features.  But I love the body that has carried my children; that dances like a princess and that carries me through life.

I hope you too, will love your body for it has carried you through.

A sweet little prize....

Tonight I attended a Lia Sophia jewelry "Bling Bash".  A dance friend of mine is a Lia Sohpia advisor and she invited me to the event.  I didn't realize that this was a HUGE event with around 300 ladies in attendance.  The event was titled "Ladies Night Out" and it's primary purpose was to sell lots of jewelry, recruit new advisors and book parties.  

The event hostesses were very energetic ladies and got the crowd of ladies whipped into a frenzy.  There was a DJ, a cash bar, appetizers, a beautiful chocolate rose cake that was wiped out before I could snap a picture and some games that awarded really nice jewelry prizes..  One game was similar to a "white elephant" gift exchange.  The DJ played a song (Justin Timberlake's 'Sexyback' for about two minutes and each lady at our advisors table took turns rolling a pair of dice.  If you rolled a pair of doubles, you got to take the prize bag that was in the center of the table.  You passed the dice quickly and each following person who rolled a double got to take the bag away from the last person who 'won' it.  The last person to roll a double before the music stopped got to keep the prize.  I've never seen so many women hooting, hollering and screaming in one place.  It was fun.  By the way...even though I rolled a double 2 times....I didn't win the prize.  I did enter a raffle to win the necklace pictured  below..........

.....but, I didn't win.  So I had to buy it.

...and I tried to win this one too...but I didn't.....

I did not try to win this one............

but I did......I won, I won!

It was the last prize awarded for the night..and I had given up hope of winning anything.  Then, the hostess called MY number!  I got to take this pretty baby home.  I was so excited!

I sat at the lucky table tonight!  5 of the 10 ladies seated at our table won jewelry.  One of the ladies even won twice!

I don't usually go to these kinds of events.....but Kori the host is so sweet, I wanted to go to support her.

She's such a good sport...she even entered a contest...and the grand prize was a necklace for EACH of the ladies at our table.  She didn't win..but she gave it her best shot!

The contest required one person from each table to go to the stage area and stand in a big circle.  They were each given candy necklaces and had to eat the candy necklace quickly....the first one to eat it all and then prove that it was all eaten and swallowed...won the big prize.

She's such a good sport she let me take the picture and consented to allow me to post it on my blog!  Isn't she sweet!!???

I'm beat.  Drafting off of all that estrogen energy has worn me out.  I'm happy that I went tonight.  Not just because I won a lovely prize...but because it felt good to be in a room of beautiful, energetic women....smiling, laughing and being girls.  In a house full of men, I sometimes forget what that feels like.

And now my lovely ladies.....I'm off to bed.  My outfit post for the day......my sweet thrifted satin jambes!

Good night, sweet dreams!

Dresses, Shoes and Random Ballroom Dance Divinity

Last night attended not one, but TWO dance parties.  I started out at Gotta Dance, a studio I frequent for social dances.  It was a great time, but I left early to attend an 'alumni party' at Premiere Dance, the studio I took lesson at before I switched to my current coach, Marcel.  It was so good to see old friends and dance with people I hadn't danced with in a very long time. Of course, I danced myself into a satisfying, sweaty dance frenzy.

I also made a quick trip yesterday to the newly opened Ross store.  They have racks and racks of cute dresses. Can't wait to go back.

I fell in love with this dress; it was priced at $13.99!

OH, I thrifted too...between my lesson, seeing my 'ward' and the dance parties.  When I started thrifting, I said I would NEVER buy shoes.  I guess I lied.  I found these lovely Eurosoft shoes at an 'upscale' consignment shop for $12.00.  I don't think they have even been worn.

Manas, Lea Foscati

I also found these palpitation inducing Italian made sandals for $12.00!  I adore the style.  I looked up the brand online and found similar styles for around $150.00.  The sizing on the bottom is international sizing and they are stamped "made in Italy".  I love them...I feel so European chic in them.

Ross, $7.99

I wore this last night to the dance parties.  So comfortable!  I paired it with a wide black belt.

$16.50!

Not a thrift purchase, but deeply discounted New York and company dress. Went in to pay my CC bill, walked out with this dress.  I DID pay cash for it...as I have vowed not to use credit cards anymore.  A couple months ago, I had been eyeballing this dress at full price. 

Jones Wear, thrifted, new with tags, $20.00.  Original price marked  $80.00

This was also thrifted at the same consignment shop where I found the shoes.  Still had the tags on it!  I don't usually visit consignment shops, because they can be overpriced on some items.  Since I often find items at the Goodwill that are brand new, brand name and in excellent condition, it makes more sense to shop there.  This shop drew me in though, with a lovely window display filled with beautiful dresses.

I've made a commitment to wear a dress every day for the rest of the until it's too cold to wear dresses.  I may end up wearing trousers more often than I intend to when the semester begins again...especially on teaching days...but I'm going to wear dresses as much as possible.

Now for the Dancing Divinity!

I thought I would share some of the lovely jewelry I wear for dancing.

http://www.designsbylyn.com/

Ballroom jewelry is not typical jewelry.  It is preferable that there is no metal on any piece.  It lies flatter, is lighter and more comfortable and holds up to sweat and action without irritating the skin like metal can.

Danceshopper.com

I made these earrings and the barrette...if you look closely, you can see hairspray residue on the barrette.  Dancers frequently re-spray their hair between dance heats.  

purchased from a competition vendor

My favorite necklace; I wear it with my green competition dress.

I wear this for showcase performances

This necklace does have metal as it is not true ballroom jewelry.  I wear it for showcase performances and keep my competition pieces strictly for comps

This picture represents a decision I am most proud of.  My new friend Stacy is wearing a dress that I had purchased for myself a couple of years ago.  The dress really did not flatter me and was too long.  It also needed to be taken in at the waist and shoulders.  It needed a lot of work to fit me.  More than I was prepared to have done.  I purchased the dress because I loved the color, and another of my professional favorite dancers wore a dress this color.  You can see that dress in the video link below...the dance and the dress are breathtaking!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2qGMeXd5c8

It's a striking color, but it's not a good one for me.  The dress was a mistake for me.  It hung in my closet and I felt terribly guilty for buying it.  I purchased my pink dress and my green dress and was happy with them...but felt awful about this purchase that just didn't suit me.  I toyed with selling it but hadn't decided which venue to use to sell it.  Then I was approached by a male dance friend who's amateur partner was looking for a blue dress.  He knew I had this dress.  She tried it on and it fit her perfectly.  It looks so beautiful on her, doesn't it?  She's buying it and is so excited to have her first ballroom dress!  I'm selling it for 25% of what I paid for it.  That's the decision I'm proud of; I wanted to help make it possible for her to buy her first real ballroom dress, without gouging her budget. Quality ballroom dresses are very expensive.  It's not an easy task to buy a ballroom dress!  I have made many, many dress mistakes before I figured the whole thing out.  There are many things to consider; color, fit, comfort, appropriateness for the dancing, noticeability on the dance floor.  The dress must fit like a glove and stay put.  It has to have a built in body suit to accomplish this.  It has to have movement on the floor..the bottom has to twirl and swirl and float when dancing.  And, a proper fitting and beautiful dress allows the dancer peace of mind on the comp floor...when it's right, it's one less thing to be distracted by.  There's so much more to consider than I can write here.  It's a big decision, and it's hard to find a first dress...at an affordable price.

http://www.designsbylyn.com/

This is Stacy.

Doesn't she look lovely?  She is so thrilled to have found this dress.  It looks so much better on her than it does on me.  It belongs to her.  I'm so happy to have been able to help her with this.

I am an encourager.  I enjoy encouraging people to achieve their goals.  I love sharing information I have gleaned from my mistakes and experiences.

Can I encourage any of you to dance?

Meeting one of my favorite female professional ballroom dancers!

Today was a very exciting day for me because I met Anna Mikhed, a beautiful professional championship dancer.

I had a lesson scheduled with Marcel today and learned that Anna was going to be teaching an International Standard Quickstep group lesson at another studio where I attend parties.

I also had a scheduled meeting with my 'ward'; the adult I am a legal guardian for through court appointment and the non profit organization I volunteer with.

Unbranded beaded charm bracelet...I love them!

I dressed for a hot day, but since my dress was a halter style, I brought a cardigan to wear in the nursing home my ward resides in.

Thrifted dress, no brand label, $3.00

This is the dress I wore for my dance lesson; nice and cool and comfy.

The 'necklace' is built into the dress and forms the halter tie in the back.

I love the color and pattern of this dress.

Me and Anna Mikhed.  She was lovely and very sweet.  My dress is from Ross; I bought it brand new today for $7.99!

By the end of the day, I was hot, tired, hungry and crabby and I had all but forgotten about the 7:30 group dance lesson with Anna.  Hubby took me and our young son out to eat when it suddenly dawned on me at 6:45 that the event was taking place in 45 minutes!  I figured I didn't have time to get the family home, get dressed and make it to the studio in time so I resigned myself to not going.  I must have been pouting a bit, because my husband finished his meal very quickly and got me home in time to quickly get ready and leave for the studio. I had my new Ross dress in the car; so yes, I changed my dress in the car while hubby drove.   The lesson was awesome, but very complicated; you know the quickstep with all the runs, kicks and flicks in hold position with your partner?  

I briefly met Anna and she was very sweet and soft-spoken and allowed me to have my picture taken with her!

Meeting a championship professional dancer ( in my preferred style of dance!) I have admired so much was a special treat for me.   Did I mention that she dances my style of dance; International Standard?  Did I mention that she has appeared a number of times on Dancing With the Stars?  You may have even seen her!  I've included a link to a You Tube video of one of Anna's DWTS performances.  I have also posted a link to a You tube video featuring Anna and her former partner dancing a dramatic Tango to Beethoven's Fifth.  You don't want to miss this one.  Breathtaking!

Sigh..............

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvaShQb8aro

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihu8ekHbBF0

Please let me know if you enjoyed these dances!

Orange and Green and a New Desk!

This morning began as a balmy day; tolerably warm and windy.  This afternoon became a hot day.  In the 90's again.  The wind and heat wreak havoc on my hair, but I'm just rolling with it.  For the most part it's been a carefree summer and I'm thankful for the time to meander and do as I please.  Embracing this carefree summer attitude means that  I'm not as preoccupied with my perpetually unruly and impudent hair as I used to be.

Dress, Metropolitan

The orange waffle knit dress I'm wearing today was a $3.50 Goodwill purchase.  I really love the color and the fabric feels 'barely there'.  Just for fun, I paired it with a breezy white, black and green scarf.  I like the little touch of green with the orange.

The Limited scarf; I really love their big, lightweight scarves, but I always wait for the clearance sales.

Necklace, unknown

This necklace is actually one I use for belly dance.  Lately, Ive been wearing it with my daily wear and I really like it.  You might notice on the full length outfit picture, the medallion is backwards.  Typically, there is always something just a little off with all of my outfits.  I always get a laugh out of it, especially if I notice it before anyone else does. I just never achieve that polished perfection that I see so many others pull off.  It's okay though!  Although I would love to put forth a 'perfect' appearance, it's just not me.  And, it's just not a lot of other people either.  It's good to be less than perfect.  It's good to be real and sometimes just slightly awkward in your manner or dress.  Practiced perfection can not erase our beautifully flawed human-ness; it always appears in one way or another.  

If I didn't possess this bit of clumsy awkwardness...I would have never met my husband, but that's a post for another day.  Hint: we met cute....

Kate Spade

The lining is as important to me as the exterior

I like a good bag, but I'm not a label snob. I want something pretty, small, durable, simply styled and highly functional. I do, however like just about anything by Kate Spade.  I found this bag at T.J. Maxx for about half of what I would have paid for it new.  It would not be in my wardrobe if I had to pay full price!

Nine West; super comfortable kitten heels; I wore these all day without an ounce of pain!

Today, after I dropped of my son at VBS, I stumbled on a large church garage sale.  I found this desk for $50.00.  I have been on the lookout for a new desk for some time.  The desk is in great condition and the desktop is very deep, so it will be really functional.  I'm going to replace the drawer pulls with black ones to modernize it and help it tie in with the black accents in my "mom cave" I was so excited to find this!

Tomorrow is Friday, which means it is dance day.  I have a very special thrifted dress that I hope to wear tomorrow.  I haven't posted a picture of the dress because I wanted to save it for a 'what I'm wearing' post.  So excited!

It's almost the weekend ladies; remember to treat yourselves to something fun just for you!

Dress for a Romantic Evening

If I was to have a romantic date night...if I could remember what that was like (kidding, honey?) this is what I might wear.  I would love to have dinner in Chicago and see a stage show.  Maybe a horse drawn carriage ride and a shoe shopping trip.  And then dancing...at one of the Chicago ballroom studio weekend dance parties.

I adore every piece here.  If I could afford to spend on frivolous shoes, they would be in my closet in a heartbeat.  Maybe I could find a pretty pair of black T-strap shoes and add the fluff?
The shoes pictured above the bag are latin style dance shoes.  There is always an extra pair of dance shoes in my bag or in my car.  Never leave home without them.

 It's summer time and I'm not working or taking any classes this summer.  I think a dream date night is in order.  And if I can't entice the hubby to indulge me in this night; I'll just go dancing!  Tee hee hee.

Dress for a Romantic Evening by lisaanna featuring light pink dresses

Asian Inspiration and a Kimono Quandry

Last week I posted a picture of this Asian Inspired dress that I purchased at a thrift shop.  I couldn't wait to wear it and today, I did.  It is too sheer to wear without a slip, so I wore a black full slip that I also thrifted.  As my son/photographer were getting ready to leave to take him to VBS, I had an 'inspiration'; I found the paper fan that my niece brought me from Okinawa and decided to do some cute pictures. 

I also found the Japanese sandals and some Kimono waist ties that she brought over and wore them for a couple of pictures.

The bottom of the shoe is a wooden platform, about 1 inch high

These are the authentic sandals that are worn with summer Kimono.  They are surprisingly comfy and easy to walk in.  They have a slight rocking motion when walking, but they are easier to wear than flip flops.

Fan detail

This is how I really wore the dress today.  The Japanese accessories were just for the pictures although I really like the pink tie belt and the Japanese sandals with the dress.  Technically the dress is not Japanese style.  I think it looks more Chinese, but I was having some fun with the Asian influence and went with what I have.

This is traditional Japanese.  This is the lovely Kimono that my niece brought me from Okinawa when she travelled to the US for the first time three years ago. She was 19 at the time and it was my first time meeting her. Tiffany, my brother's daughter, is Japanese American and now lives in Tokyo.

I love the dainty print.  This is a summer Kimono.  In the full length picture, it looks very long and it is.  The dress is folded and bloused to adjust the length.

Traditional Kimonos (the word means 'a thing to wear') are not often worn in modern Japan.  There are some who do still wear them and 'maiko' also wear them.  There are typically 12 or more pieces to a Kimono and each piece is placed in a specific manner.  It's quite complicated!  My Kimono came with an instructional video, but I still have a difficult time with it.

This is one part of the Obi.  There are four other parts to mine.

This is the undergarment worn beneath the Kimono.

I love my Kimono, but I don't wear it.  It's so lovely I don't want to alter it, but I have considered shortening it so that I could wear it as a robe or a costume.  As it is, it sits in my closet looking pretty.  That's my quandary.  I don't want to alter the integrity of the piece, but I hate to let it sit.  I will keep it always, but I can't bring myself to make it wearable right now.  I won't ever sell it, so I don't have to worry about monetary value; it's value to me is that it was a gift from my niece and her mother.  I would love to enjoy it more than just occasionally admiring it hanging in my closet.  

Any opinions?